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The great shared history that is Monopoly could only have been written in the twentieth century; board games have had their day.

— Do Not Pass Go by Tim Moore (Page 337)

To keep control of the stupendous throughput of staff, customers and buttered scones, the firm was one of the first in Britain to acquire a computer: unable, in 1949, to find any such machine to buy, the Lyons R&D boys sat down and built one themselves, based on a pioneering Cambridge mainframe.

— Do Not Pass Go by Tim Moore (Page 213)

This cavalier disregard for the maxim about shitting on your own doorstep would surely be cheerily ongoing had Brussels not called a halt, an intervention that surely more than atones for any regulation on the shape of bananas. After bumping my car through an excitingly awful wasteland of burnt-out Transit vans and flytippings, I finally came upon the EU's creation. Up it rose across the once malaria-infested Plumstead Marshes, a curvaceous, crested wave of glass and anodised aluminium, a slice of Sydney Opera House: in Crossness did Eurocrats a stately poo-furnace decree.

— Do Not Pass Go by Tim Moore (Page 152)