This is very satisfying for the kind of thing it is, and did not piss me off either as a feminist or (much) as an oh-god-not-another-anachronistic-Mary Sue-tomboy-everyone-loves hater. And it's very readable, and the romance doesn't whack you over the head till the very end.

That sounds like a list of relative virtues, but really, I have a hard time reading fantasy at all lately because of this sort of problem.